Static

This is probably the longest lapse since I started this blog.  I have so many thoughts racing through my nog on any given day.  It's like a pinball machine in there!

My cat is a regular landing spot for the thought ball bouncing around.  The fact that she mews loudly and regularly could have something to do with that.  When I got her from my friend Jill, she said, "I think she's going to have a lot to tell you."  Well, it's been nine months and the damn cat talks more than ever.  If an animal can be spoiled, then she is.  She quietens right down when one of us picks her up and cuddles her.  Maybe, just maybe, she was a warm up to the baby I'm growing.

The baby is probably the most frequent hit for the ball o' thought.  I think about the baby constantly.  I rub my growing belly consciously and unconsciously.  I look at my ultrasound photos so often, if I were an artist, then I could draw them from memory.

There are other, darker thoughts in there.  Those are ones I keep to myself mostly.  I have fears and worries.  Some of those are completely out of my control.  Others are ones I could change if I worked at it.  Regardless, I struggle to keep those at bay because I don't want that negativity surrounding my baby.  See, he's still tops on the list.

Food is the final thought.  I think about it when I wake up and as I go to sleep.  In those 18 or so hours in between, I'm fighting nausea, still, to the point that actually eating is a challenge.  I long for the good days of pregnancy when food is a treat again.

I'm heading to those thoughts of medium rare filet mignon now.  The cat is stretched across both my feet and will loudly object to my movement.  Goodnight, my friends.