Ta da!

I don't care about the nuances.  I don't care about the idiosyncrasies.  I don't care about the flat out disagreements.  I love being married to Kelly.  I love looking at the pictures of that magical day.  I love knowing I come home to him from my 12 jobs.  I love turning over in my sleepless nights and finding his strong shoulders to squeeze.  This, my friends, is the good life.

I did!

Whew!  Talk about a wild ride.  The whirlwind planning and last minute dash panned out and pulled together a beautiful, perfect wedding.  I know it was mine, but I heard that from several people.  The torrential, frigid rain of the day before cleared out to show off the magnificent view just hours before we began.

I am overcome at the thoughts of the special faces I saw in the small crowd.  People who struggled to make it there, but did.  People who took time away from critically ill family members, but did.  People who drove miles and miles, a couple or 6 hours, but they did.

It was exceptional.  For the first time in my life, I felt truly beautiful.  The people I love most in the world were there.  The ring I wear was given as a total surprise the night before and is more precious than one can imagine.  

There were also funny moments.  What else would someone expect from me??  Our fab minister quoted the "great theologian Steven Tyler"...complete awesomeness.  The wind was too brisk for the unity candle to light, so I just announced it was a symbolic unity candle.  There's a random guy scratching his ass in one of the snapshots.

We could not have asked for anything more perfect.  It's not the size of the wedding that matters.  It's the love and people who are in it.

And we WILL live happily ever after....even if there are ups, downs, and sad spots!

Words of a different kind

It's 15 minutes from being 9 days until the wedding.  You'd think I'm counting down or something.  Yes, I'm divorced.  Yes, I've had a wedding.  No, it has not ever been anything like this.

I swore to myself and everyone around me, including Kelly, that I would never get married again.  It was the seventh level of Hell as far as I was concerned.  I think my feelings on the subject interfered with our relationship for a while.  In hindsight, I can see that it kept me from letting myself feel fully what was there.  I think it probably made him wonder if there was any use in pursuing a relationship at times.  If I was so adamantly opposed to marriage, was I also opposed to all commitment?

This whole process has been overwhelming, anxiety-ridden, stress-provoking, and enlightening.  Each of us involved has had at least one moment of OMGWTF?!   Kelly and I both have been amazed at how our friends have stepped up in ways we never expected.  We have needed them to step up with our crazy idea to plan this thing in five weeks.  It's going to come together regardless.

I had a fabulous bachelorette party Saturday.  It was small and that is the best kind.  We could hear each other, mostly, not get lost at the bar, mostly and taste test each others' martinis, mostly.   One of my best friends, Steph, has done an outstanding job making sure not only that things are together for this shindig, but also that I am treated like a princess.  You are the epitome of awesomeness!

Now, I have to figure out vows.  I have not ever written them before and since I tend to write in the vein of smartassedness, I'm a little worried .  Standard definitely does not fit us.  We are unique beyond measure.  Besides that, this is a different kind of do-over.  I can't explain it.  All I know is that it IS.   After all, I love him more than cake.

Overload, Sensory and Other Sorts

I am the Queen of Multitasking.  I've been called that by people who have known me for years.  It irritates some who think that having a conversation while watching TV,  while texting, while Facebooking is not at all possible and cheats them in the conversation department.

Over the past month, I have been in multitasking hell, even though I haven't really wanted it.  I am exhausted on a daily basis.  Tonight, I was so tired, I actually asked Kelly to drive.  I never ask anyone to drive.  I am NOT a good passenger.

My nephew had his surgery yesterday.   He looks fantastic.  I hope he's on a better road in his recovery.  I still want to spend as much time with him as possible.  I'm back working as much as possible since I'm not spending any time in SC.  I'm in overdrive making wedding plans.  It's now just 26 days away.

I had a scary thought tonight.  Our wedding is going to be simple, informal, and intimate.  Our combined guest list was about 60 people.  If you think half or less actually show, then it's down right tiny.  My thought tonight is "What if nobody comes?"  I don't know why I thought that.  Please, God, don't let it be a premonition.  

I'll bring Bodequa with me.   She is fabulous enough to make up for an empty lawn on her own.  All better now.

Lazy River Wanted

I've been all about wanting, looking for balance the past little while.  I don't think it's in my foreseeable future, at least not in the way I imagine it.  I'd really like a smooth lazy river though, instead of the white water rafting.

I had some hope of getting my nephew here at my hospital so that I can continue to spend my days off with him and he won't be alone as much with other family so close.  Also, I think we'd offer him superior treatment.  That's neither here nor there at this point.  We've received another of those calls.  You know, the kind that assures you  they know what they're talking about because they put a timeline with it.  Yes, Justin has had a major downward turn this afternoon.  I believe this one is much more significant than the others.  My prayers and wishes are that he makes it through tonight and can be transferred here to Baptist  tomorrow. 

On the other hand, I am trying to plan this wedding that's coming up in just weeks.  I asked Kelly yesterday morning if we could have an Angry Birds theme.  Alas, he denied me...even the cake.  I would have made a beautiful blue bird.  Even though a few people have expressed that we are insane for doing this so quickly, for me, it is a light at the end of a dark tunnel.  It's something really happy in a very bad time.  It's something to look forward to in a year filled with sadness. 

I am looking at invitations and possibly dresses tomorrow, depending on how Justin does.  The two intertwine somehow.  Not that this is going to be formal, but I doubt Vera Wang does a Red Bird....