Words of a different kind

It's 15 minutes from being 9 days until the wedding.  You'd think I'm counting down or something.  Yes, I'm divorced.  Yes, I've had a wedding.  No, it has not ever been anything like this.

I swore to myself and everyone around me, including Kelly, that I would never get married again.  It was the seventh level of Hell as far as I was concerned.  I think my feelings on the subject interfered with our relationship for a while.  In hindsight, I can see that it kept me from letting myself feel fully what was there.  I think it probably made him wonder if there was any use in pursuing a relationship at times.  If I was so adamantly opposed to marriage, was I also opposed to all commitment?

This whole process has been overwhelming, anxiety-ridden, stress-provoking, and enlightening.  Each of us involved has had at least one moment of OMGWTF?!   Kelly and I both have been amazed at how our friends have stepped up in ways we never expected.  We have needed them to step up with our crazy idea to plan this thing in five weeks.  It's going to come together regardless.

I had a fabulous bachelorette party Saturday.  It was small and that is the best kind.  We could hear each other, mostly, not get lost at the bar, mostly and taste test each others' martinis, mostly.   One of my best friends, Steph, has done an outstanding job making sure not only that things are together for this shindig, but also that I am treated like a princess.  You are the epitome of awesomeness!

Now, I have to figure out vows.  I have not ever written them before and since I tend to write in the vein of smartassedness, I'm a little worried .  Standard definitely does not fit us.  We are unique beyond measure.  Besides that, this is a different kind of do-over.  I can't explain it.  All I know is that it IS.   After all, I love him more than cake.