When I was in kindergarten, I remember thinking I'd grow up to be something fancy like a doctor. At the very least, I'd work in an office and carry a briefcase. I didn't know that word, but I knew what those people looked like and they looked cool. I knew I didn't want to be what my family was. I didn't want to farm. I am not looking down on that or talking bad about it. They worked hard, long, and dirty. I don't like to be dirty. I don't breathe well. I am not meant for manual labor. None of that is conducive to farming. My nephew wanted to be a bird or a tree. That's a whole different life plan.
Sitting in our little circles on the floor talking about our futures, who ever says "I wanna be a crack ho!" "I think I want to drive the garbage truck!" or "I wanna lead the Bloods!" We make jokes about that all the time, at least I do. Yet, I look around me and see so many of us who have ended up far away from where we planned. How did that happen? Not everyone screws up their educational plan. Not everyone becomes a teen parent. Not everyone messes up. Life just happens.
How is it that some of us can get out of that bad track and back on a good path? It's easy for others to judge. It's really easy to be on both sides more than once in a lifetime. How did you end up where you are and are you happy with it? If not, what do you need to get to happiness?
The number 1 way to escape a situation is to have a plan. I, too, saw my family work hard on a farm and decided I wanted to make my living in an office. How did I get there? I never took my eyes off the prize. When my dad died, and I was 19 and halfway through my sophomore year in college, it simply never occurred to me that I wouldn't continue in college. I found a way to put myself through college (and it didn't involve anything illegal!) After college, I worked and paid my way through grad school. Failure was NOT an option. It's so easy to let life happen without having a plan. Loss can certainly be devastating (I know something of that, too), but without a plan it can consume your life. A plan can be a wonderful distraction, a blessing. Coincidentally, I use the same examples about "no one plans to be a drug addict or prostitute or so many other things that rob your soul". But it's a little easier to avoid those traps if you have a goal to work towards. That goal can always change. You can always change your mind. But work towards something. It can give your life meaning when all else is gone.
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