I Want a National Holiday!

Last year, I made up Squirrel Awareness Month.  Those little speed bumps of nature deserved some moments of respect, I thought.  Today, I'm Googling holidays and Holy Holidays Batman!  I think there actually could have already been a Squirrel Awareness Month!  

For example, tomorrow is Defy Superstition Day.  But wait, in true infomercial form, that's not all!  Tomorrow is also Fortune Cookie Day, National Peanut Day, Positive Thinking Day , etc.  Who determines this?  How does one apply for and receive status as a National Holiday?  Did Mr. Peanut himself petition the Calendar Gods for a mark on their precious pages?  I am not finding much in the way of info on that process when I web search.  

I want my own holiday.  It should be a banking holiday.  You know, one of those where banks are closed, mail doesn't run and you get paid to be off work.  Karen's Day should be a National Holiday.  What would it honor, you ask?  I work all the damn time.  I need a National Holiday to get a break.  What else...honoring the women of America who love football;  honoring the women of America who are highly intelligent and amazingly functional on less than 3 hours of sleep per night.  I can think up lots of other reasons to have another bold lettered declaration on January.  

All my highly ranked, Federal official or Fed employee friends....find out how I get my own holiday!  Squirrel Awareness Month starts in 18 days.  After that, the flicker of my calendar flame is doused.